Bands to Fandom

live-as-a-teen:

dogepom:

patickstump:

if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic

"Who’s flat now?"

whos flat now

(Source: patickstump, via nerf-gun-russian-roulette)

OB Meme - (9/10) Scenes

"Can you give us like two minutes, please?"

(via addictedtocophine)

DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

DC: Wait-

Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR

DC: I didn't-

Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

Marvel: PEACE

animalaspects:

soapboxtroll:

zoodvminthemaking:

animalaspects:

Here are some wonderful facts about Sea World’s orcas!
The average lifespan of wild orcas ranges from 30-50 years, although some females can easily make it past 80 (a wild orca named J2 or ‘Granny’ is 103 this year!). The lifespan of a Sea World orca is around 25 years, the median age being 9. But at least they put on a good show!
Don’t worry, collapsed dorsal fins are a common condition, although in the wild only sick or injured orcas have collapsed dorsal fins. All of Sea World’s males and some females have it, it makes them look unique! 
The size of Sea World’s tanks compared to an orca is about the same as a human to a bathtub. Lot’s of room to stretch and move!
Wild orcas swim 100+ miles a day, they would have to swim around their tank 1,400+ times a day to achieve that. But that seems like a lot of work, and you may see the animals hanging out near the surface of the water or on the bottoms of their tanks for hours. That’s a lot more relaxing than swimming all those miles!
Sea World gives their orcas a Valium-like drug to stop the whales from acting aggressively towards each other and to numb their minds from their vastly uninteresting concrete tanks. Buying a ticket to Sea World is an excellent way to help them pay for these drugs that they pump their animals full with!
Many captive orcas show abnormal behaviors like head bobbing, chewing on concrete, and self mutilation by banging their heads into the side of the tank. Obviously just temper-tantrums! Silly things.
In the wild, there has been only one orca attack. Bad orca! While in captivity, there have been over 100 attacks and 4 deaths. These animals just need more training, it couldn’t possibly be related to their confinement! 
Food is used as reinforcement for tricks. Do a trick, get your dinner. Don’t want to do a trick? I guess you don’t eat tonight you stubborn thing! 
See? Sea World isn’t as bad as people make it out to be! Oh, one more fact: for every $1,000,000 Sea World makes, about $600 goes into conservation efforts (about $0.5 a ticket). I’m so glad they care about conservation of the ocean! Amazing work!
Sources: (x) (x) (x) (x)
If you haven’t realized it yet, this post is 100% sarcastic. It should be obvious, but not everyone understands sarcasm…

Anyone down for a guerrilla marketing scheme and print this up as a “authorized” SeaWorld info pamphlet and plant them all over the park? Anyone? Hello? 

I’m in.

Omg that’s a good idea. Please let me know if you do…. :)

animalaspects:

soapboxtroll:

zoodvminthemaking:

animalaspects:

Here are some wonderful facts about Sea World’s orcas!

  • The average lifespan of wild orcas ranges from 30-50 years, although some females can easily make it past 80 (a wild orca named J2 or ‘Granny’ is 103 this year!). The lifespan of a Sea World orca is around 25 years, the median age being 9. But at least they put on a good show!
  • Don’t worry, collapsed dorsal fins are a common condition, although in the wild only sick or injured orcas have collapsed dorsal fins. All of Sea World’s males and some females have it, it makes them look unique! 
  • The size of Sea World’s tanks compared to an orca is about the same as a human to a bathtub. Lot’s of room to stretch and move!
  • Wild orcas swim 100+ miles a day, they would have to swim around their tank 1,400+ times a day to achieve that. But that seems like a lot of work, and you may see the animals hanging out near the surface of the water or on the bottoms of their tanks for hours. That’s a lot more relaxing than swimming all those miles!
  • Sea World gives their orcas a Valium-like drug to stop the whales from acting aggressively towards each other and to numb their minds from their vastly uninteresting concrete tanks. Buying a ticket to Sea World is an excellent way to help them pay for these drugs that they pump their animals full with!
  • Many captive orcas show abnormal behaviors like head bobbing, chewing on concrete, and self mutilation by banging their heads into the side of the tank. Obviously just temper-tantrums! Silly things.
  • In the wild, there has been only one orca attack. Bad orca! While in captivity, there have been over 100 attacks and 4 deaths. These animals just need more training, it couldn’t possibly be related to their confinement! 
  • Food is used as reinforcement for tricks. Do a trick, get your dinner. Don’t want to do a trick? I guess you don’t eat tonight you stubborn thing! 

See? Sea World isn’t as bad as people make it out to be! Oh, one more fact: for every $1,000,000 Sea World makes, about $600 goes into conservation efforts (about $0.5 a ticket). I’m so glad they care about conservation of the ocean! Amazing work!

Sources: (x) (x) (x) (x)

If you haven’t realized it yet, this post is 100% sarcastic. It should be obvious, but not everyone understands sarcasm…

Anyone down for a guerrilla marketing scheme and print this up as a “authorized” SeaWorld info pamphlet and plant them all over the park? Anyone? Hello? 

I’m in.

Omg that’s a good idea. Please let me know if you do…. :)

(via dancing-swords)

Important things I’ve learned in the last 6 months.
  • Always say yes to seeing friends
  • Eat breakfast every day
  • Recognize that positive change rarely happens overnight
  • Accept the fuck-ups, but try not to let them happen again
  • There is a song to remedy every situation on the planet
  • Appreciate the people in your life
  • Look for the good in everything
  • Try new things and try them often
  • Treat yourself as well as you treat others

(Source: undef-eat-able, via g0ldensoulxx)

cannawitchbitch:

khionexiovi:

Puberty: American Dad style

You have no idea how long I was waiting for this

Accurate, though

(Source: aaronjramseys, via dancing-swords)

oeuniverse:

In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’

(via isthisyourcustomdomain)